I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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