Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
