Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
