Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
