gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
