FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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