FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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