We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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