So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
