Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am midnight drunk by noon
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had to cum in my sink.
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