rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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