so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
