I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
