hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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