She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
