I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
