So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
