I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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