the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The uberlube is also flammable
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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