I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
