If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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