what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
