p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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