I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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