i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
