She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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