Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
