he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
