So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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