I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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