john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
