Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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