Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Congratulations! We have a period
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