Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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