You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
