No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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