theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
