we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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