If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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