All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
