It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
