You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
