I just saw a hot homeless man
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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