My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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