I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
