ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
