I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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