I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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