Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
