Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
