goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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