they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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