Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
