i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
