ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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