all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
